December was a hard month for me. It is hard losing a sister, very hard. Some days are okay, some aren't so much. But one thing we must do is live our lives. And that's what I try to do every day. You never know when a loved one will pass. It's important to cherish everyday as if it were you last. I know how hard it is to live everyday as if it's your last. Life, work, school, everyday burdens or tasks stand in the way of true enjoyment. I spend a lot of time thinking I will do "this" when "this" happens. Probably too much time. I know that I need to spend more time living my life. I know that's why my New Year's resolution is. To date, I haven't done it as much as I wanted to, but I will keep trying until I am truly living every minute of my life and knowing that I have no regrets in this life.

We went to the park. In December. How crazy is that? It's usually too cold for us to get out much, let alone go to the park.

We woke up feeling silly.
I spent the day with Nikolai at his school. All the kids loved me and ended up fighting over me. I had fun but it wasn't exactly one on one with Nikolai like I wanted it to be.

Nikolai had a Christmas party at school and this is what he got.

Victoria had fun trying on the hats, scarves, and purses.

And being silly.

And taking naps.

We played tea party.

And we played trucks, trains, and helicopters in a pretend city.

We made a hand print tree.

We made cookies, lots of them

I made penguins! Totally aggravating though. Everyone loved the way they looked but a lot of people hate the taste of black olives. They all got eaten, but I will not make them again. Too time consuming and annoying to make.

Special hugs for Grandpa, that lasted for at least 5 to 6 minutes straight. Longest hug EVER!

My children are my life, and I truly love spending time with them. But, in trying to provide a better life for them, I struggle with spending every moment with them. I've learned that not every moment will be spent in happiness or joy. Some in aggravation, guilt, frustration, anger, sadness and many other emotions that plague the human spirit. I've learned that each time I do get to spend with my children, it makes all that more special. I hope that my children can remember all that I do and have done for them. I want them to know that I was here, that I loved them, and I wanted the very best for them. If I die before my kids are grown, I want them to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I loved and cared for them with everything that I am.


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