Change

I said that I had no idea that my life was about to CHANGE after Thanksgiving. My sister Alisha, who has always felt like the black sheep of our family, rarely attends our family dinners, but this Thanksgiving she did. Alisha had gotten into some trouble with the law, and was having a hard time paying for everything. She gave one last try with a man with whom I know she loved. They moved in with each other and their two boys but just could not work through their differences. She decided she would move in with my mother. She did something I did not see coming. She made a CHANGE. She read a book called "The Shack." This book made me view things differently about God. It did her too. After reading it, she said to me, "maybe God does love me too, even after everything that I have done. I know I've hurt people and their lives." I told her "he does." 
It is one thing to say you've made a CHANGE,  but when people can see the CHANGE, you know something miraculous has happened. She gave her whole self to God. It was so nice to have her at our family dinners and happy. All my family commented on how happy she was. For some reason, my camera was filled with mostly pictures of her, like it was just part of Gods plan. The Monday after Thanksgiving, I got a text while I was driving Nikolai to school. It said get to your mom, she needs you. I was like okay...is my mom okay? They replied, just get here. I felt the urgency behind those words. For the first time ever, I drove 80 down the back-roads, with my flashers on, with Victoria in the car. I got there and I immediately knew something was very very wrong. An ambulance was in my mom's driveway. I flew down the drive way, and jumped out and ran to my mother who was crying. I said "mom, what's wrong, what happened?" She said "it's Alisha, she's gone." How could my sister just be gone, she was happy and there just a couple of days ago. "I asked how, what happened?" My mother explained that she just went in her sleep. It was an unexpected blow to my world. My big sister was just gone, leaving two sons to grow up without their mother. My family came over and held us as we cried. I think my oldest sister Holly was the most upset. She was a lot closer in age to Alisha than I was. I was at disbelief. I tried to act strong for my mother. I would not cry in front of her. I tried helping her with the funeral plans and everything else, but when I got home at night, I would cry my eyes out. I think my last words to my sister were "bye I love you." I had watched her boys for her the day before she died so she could go out with her friends. I miss my sister dearly. No one should ever have to go through losing a sister.

I love this picture, it makes me laugh. When I was taking the picture, Zae Zae kept being silly and Alisha was like Isaiah! lol.
Her smile would light up the room and she had a beautiful contagious smile. My life has CHANGED so much in this past year but this was the biggest of them all. My life will never be the same without her. I will miss her every day of my life.


These are the two songs that my sister Holly and I chose to have played at her funeral. They both describe how I have felt since she died.

 

*Rest In Peace Alisha Lynn Byrum*

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